Why You Should Draft Your Will Now

The only event that's certain in our lives is that we all die. But who wants to think about that? Call me the eternal optimist. Actually, I am and it's probably why I put off making a will. Dying is not top-of-mind when my husband and I have so much to live for. Plus, we're busy people with busy kids. Who has time to make a will?

Shelby Wilson, an attorney with Berchem, Moses and Devlin in Milford and Westport, says younger couples don't necessarily think about it. "It's not their mindset when they're busy raising families and have commitments," says Wilson, whose specialty is estate planning. "Clients will start to come in when kids are young, or before they have kids, with a real concern for appointing guardians."

Fairfield resident Jennifer Marco admits she doesn't know where to start or what she and her young family needs. A busy mom of two, weight management counselor and founder of ModernHealthConnections.com, Marco says she's too busy trying to keep everybody healthy to think about what she needs to do in case she dies. "I know it's something I need to do, but what should I be doing?" she says. "I guess it's just a lack of knowledge on the process."

YOU NEVER KNOW

No matter how you roll the dice, it's a gamble without any estate planning. Because unless you're clairvoyant with special powers, you just don't know when something will happen. No one ever plans to get hit by a truck, but it could happen. And it could happen tomorrow. If you've ever had a brush with death, you know this couldn't be a truer reality. It's when you feel lucky to be alive after you've totaled your car that you start going through the "what ifs." What would happen to my home? My kids? And if that isn't enough to shock you into getting a will, consider this: If you die without one, the Connecticut state court will make those "what if" decisions for you.

Under Connecticut state law, the property will first go to your spouse, then to your children, Wilson says. Your spouse gets $100,000 off the top, then half of what's left. The kids then split the remaining half. Out of that are paid any debts, taxes owed and burial fees.

If you aren't married and don't have kids or other relatives, the state can claim your assets for itself. Probably not the way anyone would want to go out, especially since we pay so much in taxes while we are living. Think about this: you've given so much of yourself to building your life, shouldn't you be the one to say what happens to it in death?

DUCKS IN A ROW

Estate planning is as much for life as it is for death. And organizing your life now can avoid headaches later. Just ask Anne Mulligan, a freelance art director and Stratford resident. Her parents died when she was fairly young, teaching her the value of making a will. "Death is a fact of life," she says. "The fact that I lost my parents made me realistic about things like this. It seems like the people I know who are in denial about their own mortality are often those who still have their parents and sometimes grandparents."

Wills also are important for naming the people you want to inherit cherished personal belongings. Mulligan and her husband don't have children but specifically named their nieces to receive her mother's jewelry. "A will means that there is no misunderstanding about who gets what," Mulligan says. "I've seen families get into fights about inheritance, sometimes to the point where they no longer speak." You can avoid that by telling people ahead of time or making it clear in your will.

And once you've taken the time to draft the will, don't just put it in a box. Take it out every 18 to 24 months, especially after a major life change such as getting remarried, a beneficiary's death or a new account opening.

And keep in mind that laws change. Who will know that? Your attorney.

MINOR CHILDREN

A will is especially important when minor children are involved; it's the best way to transfer guardianship. You want to hand pick guardians and trustees to manage the property your children stand to inherit. It could be two different people, an ideal situation according to Wilson, who says doing both could be too much responsibility for one person. But think about this: You don't want the guardian to argue with the trustee manager to get money to pay for uncovered health-care items. So talk to the people you are choosing. Talk about everything.

From a spiritual point of view "¦just the thought that God gave us this life, and we want to entrust these precious lives to someone who has the same values and beliefs and shares a similar dream, is important," says the Rev. Raymond K. Petrucci of Saint Joseph's Parish in Danbury and chaplain for Danbury Hospital. "It's our duty."

If you don't leave a will, the court will appoint a guardian, and it could end up being someone you may not have chosen. Try conjuring up an image of family members fighting for your children in court and the kids going to your least favorite person. It's heartbreaking. Of course, your appointed guardian is not a slam-dunk. The court will review to make sure the person has since not become a convicted felon, but will take your wishes into serious consideration.

Creating a trust, common in estate planning, can prevent minor children from inheriting money when they become legal adults at the ripe young age of 18. You don't want a child inheriting a large sum if they are not mature enough. Hello, Jimmy Choos and a new Lexus. Your daughter could end up the coolest kid in town, fashionably driving around in her college education. "Everyone is different and everyone's children are different," Wilson says. "Have an adviser that listens to those concerns and tailors an arrangement that is customized to your needs."

OF SOUND, MIND OR BODY

What if something happens to you and you aren't mentally able to tell people what you want? "It would be wise to consider all sorts of scenarios and come up with all sorts of protocols and even acting on it before it should happen," Petrucci says. Other protocols to be considered are advanced directives or a living will, where you specify the actions that should be taken if you become incapacitated; and a healthcare proxy or power of attorney, both of which appoint someone you trust to make decisions for you, either medical or financial, while you are incapacitated. If you don't have advanced directives, in steps the state.

Many of these documents and procedures can be downloaded off the Internet, but Wilson stresses that when you do so, you won't get the knowledge and individualized attention of an expert. "You need to be concerned about using a service (like that) because documents may or may not be compliant with local law. This is something that has real consequence to it," she says. "These decisions are going to be important for years to come¦" HL

Where there's a Will, there's a Way...

Wills are essential because they allow you to control who will inherit your money and your property, as well as who will care for your children after your death. If you don't leave a will, a judge will make these decisions for you.

A will is for:

SPOUSES: So he or she is designated as the beneficiary of your property. You don't want your spouse to have to jump through hoops in court to receive this money while the bills are piling up.

MINOR CHILDREN: So you can protect them from going to people you may not have chosen should both parents die. Also, to protect them from receiving money at a young age (18) when they are not mature enough to handle it.

ADULT CHILDREN: So you can make sure they receive the inheritance you intended for them at the age you feel is most appropriate.

CHARITIES: So you can leave charitable gifts to organizations that are important to you.

PROTECTION. So you can protect your money from going to the state. If you don't have a will and there is no living relative, all monies will be claimed by the state.

Note: Life insurance policies, retirement plans (including IRAs and 401K and 403(b) plans), and payable-on-death and transfer-on-death investments are all contracts. The beneficiaries you designate will inherit these assets directly (bypassing probate) regardless of what your will says.

Terms you should know:

Executor: A person who makes sure your wishes are carried out.

Beneficiary: A person or persons to whom you leave your property and assets.

Guardian: A person you choose to care for minor children.

Trust: A document for the minor children that states inheritance when they turn 21 or older.

Trustee: A person in charge of the trust.

Power of attorney: A document that gives another person control of your estate should you become incapacitated. It can be revoked at any time.

Living will or advanced directives: Instructions given by individuals specifying what actions should be taken for their health should they become incapacitated.

Healthcare proxy: A document that allows a person you have appointed to make healthcare decisions for you should you become incapacitated.

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